Gosh so much stuff has been going on in a matter of weeks it's a crying shame. I guess I should just talk about the things that stick out the most...
1. My Kanye's (nickname of my ace) going through a lot. I haven't talked to him since maybe thurs. or friday but I told him I'm here whenever he needs me. It sucks that this is happening now. Especially when we were getting close again. I pray everyday that things will look up. I feel in my heart they will.
2. I'm moving back home. I'm scared and yet the thrill of going back there engulfs me. I did my growing up teenage wise down there. Virginia. A lot of my life is gonna change. I adapt well to situations so I know I'll be ok it's just I'm gonna miss my 2 big brothers and my bffs. Also I'm gonna miss my bank lol I decided the top of the year will be a good idea. When you start of the year in a good change things can't help but to follow suite in your life. I feel like it's the best thing. I promise I will not become dependent. & when I get on solid ground I will be back. I plan on being smarter and wealthier by then lol
3. Another guy has popped in my life. He said he had a huge crush on me in h.s. I never would've guessed. Long story short he started claiming me and saying all this extra sweet stuff and the only thing that popped in my head was my kanye. I've loved kanye (he doesn't know about the love part lol) since I was 14. 8 years. I just feel like just because he's going through some things doesn't mean that I should persue someone else. It just felt wrong and I trust myself too much to play into someone else's compliments about me. Kanye knows me a little better than I at times. I can't just throw that away. I won't. I've never cared so much about a guy outside of my family in ALL of my living. His friendship and just him being back in my life is like I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I think the world of him. I apologized to this guy because my feelings aren't in it. I just don't like him. He's a decent guy but I feel nothing. & I wanted to stop the situation before it blew up because I think he assumed because we were both single that I would just fall in his arms. No. It's so funny that no matter where I am in my life Kanye is always in my mind. It had been a year since the last time we really talked and when we finally got back in contact everything just picked up where it left off lol I don't really know any guy that I could do that with. It's like "welcome back". I try to be in denial and play blind but I know that we like eachother and since he's been "gone" I've had to face that reality. & if my mom wants to cook for him AND he really wants to meet her I must've done something right lol No matter what I want him to be in my life til I'm oldddddddd and gray. I hope we're together though lol See how much he makes me talk? lol Love is definitely there. It feels right this time. (fingers crossed)
4. I need to finish my books. REALLY. 2 people are very pivotal and encouraging and they know who they are. They want to know everything. The #1 person is...Kanye lol He wants to read my poetry and probably everything I've ever written lol When you find people like that hang on to them. Dams too. She's so smart. She makes me feel like I'm already there. A quadrillionaire. I love them both. I'm putting my heart into this manuscript and even if I sell 1 copy I know that someone understood. I'd like to sell millions on top of billions though :)
5. I'm back on my exercise game. I'm trying to get some abs going. I miss them. On a bad not my sleep pattern is thrown off. I'll get better though. I promise me.
I think that's it. I'm gonna really try to be more active on here since I still refuse to have a twitter lol
Payce!
-Ash
No comments:
Post a Comment