Alice. Alice. Alice.

You are....PALE!

Seeing you in 3D on a floor to ceiling screen with surround sound booming I now KNOW what love is.

Just kidding!

The movie was adorable. Mr. Burton I love you more than me at times. Yes, yes it's strange. May you always make your movies with people like me in mind. You shan't disappoint.

OH & my birthday was FUNNY! 3 glasses of Mojito later and it's hard for anybody to not be smitten with me. I'm just so damn ME! I had EVERYBODY laughing. I was LOUD and full of giggles and weird dance moves lol They shouldn't have left the shaker with me. It was yummy though! Might be my new social fave.

My lovely mom surprised me with Where The Wild Things Are. I could have died in bed. That movie sung to my heart. Thank you for watching it with me Joey! I know you had a great time with us last night. There's more where that came from. Just ask my sister. You guys are lucky to have found eachother. Extra cute. & you guys are def starting to look alike. Couple's gift & curse lol & I've never seen your eyes bigger than when my mom tipsy and all explained how Waka Flacka Flame was gonna die. Don't worry I totally get it lol & yes she's crazy but she's just mom.

A few notes.

Thank you to my bffs for wishing I'd get drunk. ALMOST! lol & nope no hangovers here. You are the loves of my life. Team Miami FOREVER!! Thank you for all the advice. & for getting me drunk in Miami and always protecting me from the mens lol You guys are my air.

Thank you big brothers for calling me a "mothafucka!/jerk/asshole" & celebrating at the stripclub in my honor. Thank you for never seeing a movie without me. Thank you for ALWAYS bringing me to the club. Thank you for always grabbing my hand and dancing with me when I sat alone. Thank you for telling me all the things you never told a soul. Thank you for not hating me for cutting my hair. Thank you for showing me my worth. Thank you for never teasing me about the things I couldn't control. Thank you for helping me with my anxiety. Thank you for always making sure I didn't have to walk home alone. Thank you for standing up for me when all of them turned out to be jerks. Thank you for being the father figures that you knew I wanted. Thank you for your advice on life. Thank you for taking me under your wings. Thank you for letting me wear your sneakers when my feet started hurting in my heels. Thank you for always paying my way. Thank you for always picking me up when I stayed late at work. Thank you for telling me NO. Thank you for randomly hugging me and knowing I needed it no matter how many times I said "get offfffffffffffff me!" Thank you for helping me find my balls lol Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed. Thank you for always sharing your food. Most importantly thank you for loving me just the way I am. You guys are gold.

Thank my sister for that beautiful card. Thank you for always getting mad at me for being "weak." Thank you for reading my poetry. Thank you for the world tours and concerts. Thank you for being my buddy. Thank you for all the heart to hearts. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for laughing even when I'm the only one who thinks it's funny. Thank you for being the beautiful firecracker you are. You're my hero. & yes heroes get beat up :)

Thank all my other friends and family for your wishes. I love you to smithereens.

Thank you to my little brother Justin for calling me to tell me that he's renewing his spirit & choosing my bday to do so. & for calling as I type this to tell me that he's at the beach throwing his problems in the ocean (he got that from me lol). Yes, he's actually at the beach lol Thank you for always being there for me when I felt stuck or hopeless or the nights when I couldn't stop crying. Those days when I didn't understand. The days when I was moody and hurt your feelings. The days when we stayed up all night and I fell asleep on the phone. Thank you for pressing buttons in my ear lol Thank you for loathing every guy I've loved lol Thank you for still being so proud of me through it all. Thank you for choosing me to be your guardian angel. I love you SO much.

Thank you to the people I BARELY talk to for acknowledging me for that one second.

Thank you to all my "friends" who've been demoted to associates. Thank you for not even speaking to me yesterday. No, seriously we're done.

Thank you to both of my fathers for just pretending I wasn't born. I never knew I could feel a pain like that until I realized my whole birthday passed and neither of you called. I'll never forget this feeling for the rest of my life.

Thank everyone who forgot it was my birthday.

Thank everyone who said it the next day.

To my manfriend/bestie Christopherson! My heart is full. I'm really happy we're friends. You've done more for me than people who knew me all my life. May you have all the happiness one is determined to have. I know you'll have a lot. You're hilarious. Thank you for not getting frustrated when I'm being confusing or weird lol Thank you for sanging my song & I know you probably secretly dance to it lol! I love you until I'm silly! & I loved your blog entry. Mainly because you looked like you had some DRANK in your cup when you told me not to get too tipsy lol You're such a handsome man. You're the best present giver guy person :)

Thank you DJ! LMFAO! LMFAO! LMFAO! Love you! & Happy Birthday! :D Pisces rule! You finally get it lol Friends until the END. Probably beyond that. & you finally spelled it RIGHT! lol Holy crap. I love how we both busted out laughing lol Why do we always do that? lol Thanks for being there. I've never been prouder of you. How do you break phones? About ALL OF THAT...yeap! lol You were right. Some things don't change. I'll be expecting that dog soon :) You moving terrifies me just so you know. Don't talk to strangers :/ & no excessive partying. I mean it. Pumpkinhead! XD & yes it was heartfelt & I almost cried at the table lol Thank you. Some people will never get it... Ah well. Who can help it? I didn't even see it coming lol I'll never forget those times. I have to remember. I'm glad you remember. May you never forget. Smh another Waka fan huh? lol Not surprised lol & I'm most def using steez now that you told me what it means lol Still. Still. Will. Will.

& J lmao! No more cocktails for you. Your liver man. Your liver. I love you Mannie Pannie lol

& I never got the chance to do this. Now I can. This is for ME. Even though I wanna say it to your faces.


& to my father. Thank you for not signing my birth certificate. Thank you for not being there when I was born. Thank you for still not being here. Thank you for making it hard for me. May you have all that you wish for and more. I love you and I always will.

OH & to B. I can never get it back. I've never been more handicapped then when I was there. In that place. & you just watched me break down. You knew exactly what to say. Manipulative & a coward. I loved you. It killed me. & I pretended for your protection. Thank you for all the lies and the bitter truth. You were right. I do deserve better. & I got just that. May you be blessed. You don't know what you're missing. OR maybe you do. I don't hate you. No matter how many times I flipped you off in my mind. I'm OVER it.

Ahhhhhhhh. My counselor would be proud.

Thank you God for allowing me to see all that I have. Thank you for waking me up. Thank you for all the people you've allowed me to know. Thank you for all the love in my life in all forms.

I love my Glow In The Dark Book. It's beautifullllllllllllllllllll. Just saying.

Pictures tomorrow perhaps :)

& yeah I was sobbing like a baby while typing ALL of this but I get like that sometimes. I'm very emotional right now & I had to get everything I'm feeling out of my heart!