No one loves me more than me. & no one EVER will. Unfortunately. Besides thee obvious. The man that always protects me, my heart & all I love. The one that watches over me. The Lord :)
Sometimes I just get so tired & stressed. Realizing more and more that not every little thing deserves my anger. It's better if I just come to grips with it. There's just some things I won't accept. There ARE things that are beyond my control.
Guess what I'm really trying to say here is...
I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY.
I often question myself when I shouldn't. Always feeling like I've done people wrong unbeknownst to myself. Always feeling like I NEEDED a reason so I don't feel like people just up and treat me like shit for no reason.
But people DO. & it's not fair. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere. I just want to be loved for EXACTLY who I am. I don't wanna have to be molded to please anyone. I just want love. I've always loved people just the way they were. Why not me the same thing?
There's always something I'M not doing. It's always me. I wonder if it just makes people feel better to blame me. Sometimes I wish I wasn't nice at all.
& if I disappear far from here. Don't ask why. Don't look for me. Just leave me alone. Just the way you already do. & that'll be fine. Atleast I will really know that you really don't...care.
I'm sad. I'm upset. I'm out of my head.
Let's just be still. Enjoy one another. Love with all our might. Stop getting mad over stupid things. Cherish time.
Because...who knows?
Sending love to the world.
-Ash
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