Stamped & Returned.

Ello Mates!

I'm back home after a long but short summer away. I don't know how I feel about it yet.

My train ride was about 6 hrs. 3o mins. The worst part was getting off because I had to literally kick one bag through another part of the train while lugging the other bag on my shoulder. My chest was on FIRE! Thank the heavens for the two nice gentlemen that helped me get off. I know for sure I would've fell lol

During that ride I did have a most humbling experience.

All in all I've had a fruitful life. I've met all kinds of people & had so many experiences. As I'm sure nearly everyone has. The thing I really wanna touch on is forgiveness.

I have stories for days. People to blame. Excuses for all the whys. I almost always would end it with a "but I forgive them. I don't hold grudges"

While the grudges part is so very true. The forgiveness I've come to find is almost non-existant.

Especially the forgiveness for myself. All these years I've been pained over people & I've never forgiven myself. Whether it's for being lost or for letting myself weaken while people try to take the best parts of me. I wonder if they forgive me for being naive or stupid.

I cried on that train. Luckily my area was nearly empty. It wasn't the best cry because I was trying to muffle my sobs & hide my face. I did feel some relief though.

It's okay to cry. Really.

I suppose I can't just instantly forgive myself or these people. Which is why I'm on a journey to forgiveness. My shoulders have been kind of heavy lately just thinking about it. Hopefully I'll really find peace this time.

I challenge you to face your fears. Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Truly move on. Life is beautiful.

One step to being the best you.

So....here's to you :)

Be merry!

-Ash